There's Wildness in Them Thar Hills

Why did we go in search of wilderness today?

Because there was so much dried grass that even Zada would share with Lola.


Because weed bouquets have a sneaky way of being featured in photographs even when mommy requests that everyone "look thoughtfully away."


Because there are soooo many rocks that just neeeeeeeeeded to be thrown off of the hill.


Because it is friday and our calendar is blank.



Because I've been wanting to walk where we didn't have to look out for dog poo.


Because watching free-range children is exactly how I wanted to spend my day.

Summer Break, Day One

Ahhhhhhhhh.

I feel soooooo good. Isaac is here and Zada is here and Lola is here and Ellen is here and Aaron isn't here but will come home by dinner and it's sunny outside but we are inside enjoying day one of a long lazy retreat from the hectic crappy year we've had.

I'm coming off of many distractions these last weeks--match-making for the brother-in-law (no more meddling...learned my lesson) and clawing my way to the end of this very grueling school year. We've also been on the intellectual and emotional teeter totter of considering homeschooling next year for both Isaac and Zada.

And just as I was feeling momentary panic yesterday at giving up our spots at this very sought-after public school, we received a form letter from the assistant principal informing us that our son was tardy 24 times this school year.

6 tardies is the highest they go on their scale of punishments. As in, 6 or more tardies and you may be reassigned to a new school. As in, NO ONE gets more than 6 tardies. Except us. Who got twenty-four.

Before I go into a rant about how this happened after I gave up control over getting Isaac to school and let him start going on the back of Aaron's Vespa, a rant that would have included such phrases as, "I TOLD him to get to the garage by 7:25am! I TOLD him!" I have to say this.

The letter told us (in a generic form letter way, of course) to use our summer months to think carefully about why we are amassing tardies and do some hard strategizing about how to ensure that no tardies are had next school year.

Easy!

We quit!

We are tardy because we don't think that ripping our kid out of the book he is reading to go to school to sit in a class and color xeroxed worksheets is worth it.

We are tardy because we see how much more excited our kids are exploring life on their own than they are when spoon-fed life in sour little bites.

We are tardy because we miss our kids when they are gone and don't really want them to march off at 7:45am.

So thanks, Mr. Hack, for reminding me to think hard about our tardies. I have, and I think we have come up with the perfect solution....

Speaking of Birthdays...

Zada couldn't wait to give me my birthday present. She had colored a piece of paper pink and wrapped it herself.

Without further ado...

Milk Cartons

It doesn't matter how many birthdays I have lived through. It is still a thrill to see my birthday as the expiration date on our milk carton.

The world knows! The world celebrates me! The world promises not to spoil, in my honor!

Total and Complete Mess Denial

So I'm trying to fall asleep last night, and it hit me.

In my attempt to capture the reality of my home yesterday, with a dash of, "Ha ha, take that" and that whole thing about winning pro-wrestlings of mess, I realized that the room that is

*the horror*

did not even cross my mind. That door stays shut literally, and mentally too I just proved.

That room, that black hole, that eighth-circle-of-hell, is our playroom. We have all three kids sleeping in one bedroom, and so alllllll of their stuff is in the other bedroom, which also has a full sized loft so that it can be used as a (hang head in shame and disbelief) guest room.

Without further ado,

Note the one spot of floor that is clear, which mysteriously corresponds with the surface area required to SHUT THE DOOR properly.


Look! The closet/board book basket/toy bin area has the flu and is vomiting uncontrollably!





So there you have it. Now you have seen the real me.

Next Installment: The Pantry of Many Horrors

What A Difference A Day Makes

I was reading a mom's blog where she was requesting to see real live pictures of people's houses, and I thought that sounded like a barrel of messy monkies. Especially since yesterday I posted a photo of my kitchen at its spit-shined best. So here it is, fourteen hours later....here is the world's first viewing of the kitchen island from hell...



Note the following:

***Blue gel-filled ant farm with 24 dead ants and one very sad, slow, old ant that reminds me of me.

***little planters with plants that are ACTUALLY ALIVE! Poor things will be dead in a week given our track record.

***kitchen drawer ajar because our 1906 house's kitchen slopes and it won't stay shut

***burgundy paper coffee cup. This is here because we ran out of coffee yesterday and rather than going into full withdrawal this morning (because I still haven't shopped) I shoved our baby in a stroller and walked down the block to the local coffee shop for two double lattes. At 6:15am. Thank god we are in San Francisco and have sixteen coffee shops on every city block.

***milk and cream cheese nearly at room temperature

***Dead roses in vase

***at least four boxes of nearly-gone cereal

***bananas on the counter = 7. Bananas that my kids will eat = 0. Bananas that should be made into banana bread = 7. Bananas that will be composted, uneaten = 7.

Bonus Points for me! You can't see the dishes in the sink. You can't see the sticky kitchen floor. You can't see the mold on the tortillas on the wooden chopping block. And, the most amazing, the orchid I was given in early March is still alive.



And here is the front hallway...not too bad! Note lonely pencil in the shiny reflection on the floor waiting to slip someone in a scene right out of the Three Stooges.



Mount Laundry waiting to be folded. They are sooooo excited to finally be rescued from the garage, where they waited for 48 hours in the dryer.





Our filing system, which hides behind our couch...




So there you have it. These pictures don't really do my house justice. In that, they look pretty clean...I actually worked on it all yesterday. We can do way worse. We can put you to shame. If there was a Pro Wrestling of messy houses, we would soooooo kick your butts.

Pleased as Punch

Sometimes, I have to be a bad bad girl and rejoice over material things.

Like my new placemats from Kumquat on Clement Street. Love them!

Under Lock and Key

When I was in college, I was one of those people that could not wake up. Ever. An 8:00am class was such a tragedy in my life that I was lucky to make it to class in my pajamas, if at all. I would literally roll out of my bed ten minutes before class, throw on a sweatshirt, and RUN, pillow lines still on my face.

So in order to help myself, I would hide my alarm clock. It wasn't enough to just turn it off (although it would turn into a nice dream about church bells and such as I slept on for another two hours), or heaven forbid I would use the snooze button and waste an entire hour in annoying 8 minute intervals. With the clock hidden, I would have to jump down from my loft bed, and run around trying to figure out which drawer I had stowed in in *this* time. The aerobic activity of leaping from the bed and dashing between piles of books and clothes was juuuuuuussssttttt enough to get me out bed for good.

I thought about this today, as I decided to hide my laptop from myself.

I have never had an addiction to anything other than coffee and my children, but I'm beginning to understand what they feel like.

When faced with a sink of dishes, two loads of laundry that have been sitting wet for long enough to require a new washing, sticky floors, and a fine layer of chaos spread over everything, it is sooooo easy to just tune it out and get on the laptop. It's a fun world on my laptop! There are grown ups there! People don't whine and tug on my pajamas there! It doesn't smell like poop or rotten food!

So when I woke up this morning, I stuck that laptop (after a quick quick micro-check on the email, for my brother-in-law's sake you know) in our office armoire and SHUT IT GOOD. I decided that I would be very productive this morning and if I was very good I could take the laptop out of bondage at 2:00pm while Lola takes her afternoon nap.

Well, Lola is napping, and here I am.

But it is 11:00am.

And it is her first nap, not her second.

It's amazing when you are used to hopping in and out of the computer how it becomes a part of the flow of your day. I *almost* got on this computer more times than I care to admit this morning. So I guess I am taking it one morning at a time, trying to be a present mom, trying to be a better housekeeper, trying not to cry that I just typed "trying to be a better housekeeper."

See you at 2:00pm!